A Joke That I Fell For Completely

By John J. Duncan Jr.
duncanj@knoxfocus.com

When I was in Congress, one of my committees was the Transportation and Infrastructure Committee.

This was good for East Tennessee because, as the chairman of the Aviation Subcommittee, I was able to obtain funds to totally rebuild our airport, and later, as chairman of the Highways and Transit Subcommittee, I was able to get almost more money than any other district to expand our highways.

This work needed to be done because the Knoxville area has been one of the most popular places to move to in this country for about the last 40 years or so.

Among many other things, the Transportation Committee had primary jurisdiction over the Coast Guard.

Some time in the early 2000s, I was asked by the commandant of the Coast Guard to fly to Miami and Key West one weekend to see what they were doing to fight drug smuggling and illegal immigration into South Florida.

Also on that trip were the chairman of the Appropriations Committee, Rep. Hal Rogers of Kentucky, and another member of that committee, Rep. Sonny Callahan of Alabama, and our wives.

We flew on the commandant’s small jet. Hal and Sonny were senior to and more powerful than I, so they and their wives sat in the front section with the commandant.

There was a very small area with soft drinks and snacks, and my late wife, Lynn, and I sat with the second-ranking admiral in the second section of the jet.

We had to leave very early from Key West because I was supposed to host President George W. Bush in Knoxville around noon and then fly back to Washington with him on Air Force One.

About halfway back to Knoxville, a flight attendant brought me a phone and said, “Sir, the White House is on the phone.”

When I got the phone, a staticky voice said, “Sir, this is Jack Williams with the White House Travel Office. The president has requested that Chairman Rogers accompany him back to Washington, and there will not be room for any other members. I’m sorry.”

I thanked him and then told Lynn and the admiral that I had been bumped. I was not surprised or hurt because Rep. Rogers was one of my best friends, had been in Congress eight years longer, and was chairman of one of the most powerful committees.

About twenty minutes later, the attendant brought the phone to me again, and the same voice said he was Jack Williams and that Chairman Rogers had declined the invitation, and, “There will be room for you after all.”

I turned to the admiral beside us and said, “You see how good Chairman Rogers is to me. He has declined an invitation to fly on Air Force One because he didn’t want to bump me.” The admiral replied, “He is a very nice man.”

Then Rep. Callahan came back to where we were seated and said, “Are you going to fly back with the President?” I said “I guess so.”

Then Rep. Callahan said, “After they’ve bumped you?” and then very emphatically said, “I wouldn’t take that kind of s_ _ _.”

Lynn, who was hearing all of this, and who had been fooled like me, said: “That’s why you’re never going to get anyplace. You’re always letting people run over you.”

I always felt proud and very grateful to be in the U.S. House, but Lynn was more ambitious than me, and I think she was always disappointed that I never ran for senator or governor.

Finally, still not realizing it was all a big joke, I was given the phone a third time just as we started to go down to land.

This time it was Rep. Callahan on the phone, and I recognized his voice. He said, “Duncan, this is the president. Are you going to fly with me or not?”

I then realized I had been completely fooled by this joke. I got back in time to host President Bush and flew back to Washington with him on Air Force One.

Hal Rogers and Sonny Callahan were my two most frequent dinner partners in Washington. Despite this joke, they were very serious legislators, and I was lucky to have them and several others as good friends who were very helpful to me in my work for our district.

During my first term, a Capitol Hill newspaper had a roving photographer who tried to ask unusual questions. One day, he stopped me and said, “If there were a statue of you in the Capitol, where would it be and what would it say?”

I said, “Well, it would probably be in the basement, and it would say ‘Lucky to be here.’”

I never ran for any higher office (even though I was often encouraged to do so) in large part because during my 30 years in Congress, I never lost the feeling that I was lucky to be there.