By Mark Nagi
As you well know, the 2026 college football season is almost here. Technically, it has already arrived with “Week Zero” contests played last weekend, but the real deal starts on Saturday.
For the Tennessee Volunteers, only 12 games are guaranteed. Nine SEC contests and three out-of-conference games. I know how busy everyone is, so I’ve taken the liberty of predicting each game, for entertainment purposes only.
Note: Some of these are tongue-in-cheek. For the love of all that is right in this world, do not wager Braxton’s 529 plans on these prognostications.
The season starts with an easy 52-7 win over Furman. A sold-out crowd at Neyland Stadium watched QB Faizon Brandon look good while contributing five total TDs. Vols fans begin a “Brandon for Heisman” campaign.
A week later, Tennessee edges Georgia Tech 24-21 in Atlanta. Tennessee LB Arion Carter makes a game-saving tackle. After the game, he wears an NCAA headband during interviews.
In Week three, Tennessee hosts Kennesaw State. In an odd decision by the University, only fans who knew that Kennesaw State is a school located in Georgia are allowed to attend. An estimated 45,000 fans (including 622 students) watch the Vols beat the (looks up team nickname) Owls 63-10. Brandon throws five TD passes.
One of the games of the year in college football takes place in Week 4, as Texas faces Tennessee. This is the first time the Vols have played the Longhorns since the 1969 Cotton Bowl. Texas QB Arch Manning, nephew of Tennessee legend Peyton Manning, throws three TD passes and runs for another in a 42-31 victory. Peyton is seen after the game giving the “hook ‘em” sign in celebration. Tennessee fans burn his jersey in the open section of the soon-to-be-demolished G-10 parking garage.
Tennessee bounces back with a 24-17 win over Auburn the following week. Tigers head coach Alex Golesh can’t beat his old employer in his first attempt. Golesh served as the Vols’ offensive coordinator under Josh Heupel in 2021-2022. Auburn boosters immediately fire him and offer Bill Belichick $300 million to coach the Tigers, but Belichick can’t get out of a cheerleading competition commitment he gave his girlfriend.
Tennessee’s second road game of the season is on deck with a trip to Fayetteville to face Arkansas. This is a scheduling quirk, as the Vols played at Arkansas only two years prior, and faced the Razorbacks in 2025. The Vols win an ugly game 14-7, and Brandon runs for both TDs.
The Vols are 5-1 heading into the “Third Saturday in October.” The last two times Alabama came to Neyland Stadium, goalposts were torn down. This time there would be no Vols fans rushing the field, as the Tide win 31-17. Even with the win, Alabama head coach Kalen DeBoer is told by Alabama fans that they wish he was Nick Saban, prompting DeBoer to resign and take an offshore drilling job in the South China Sea, where he hopes that there will be no Alabama fans.
Tennessee then heads to South Carolina, and once again that matchup in Columbia is a memorable one. Freshman WR TK Keys makes a key block on one TD and throws for another on a trick play as the Vols win 35-20. South Carolina head coach Shane Beamer is fired after the game and also takes a job with an offshore drilling company based in the South China Sea.
After a bye week, the Vols head to the coldest place on the planet, a night game in Lexington in November. Tennessee wins an ugly game over Kentucky 31-27, a game in which UK led three times. There’s really nothing new here. This result is always what happens.
The 6-2 Vols head to College Station, playoff hopes still intact. They leave with those hopes squashed at Kyle Field as Texas A&M wins 12-9.
Now 6-3, Lane Kiffin and the LSU Tigers come to Neyland Stadium. Security is tight as Lane Kiffin walks onto the field to a chorus of boos and vitriol not seen since William Wallace is tried in England on charges of treason. The Tigers, supported by a roster filled with former NFL players, Olympic track stars and monsters from “Space Jam,” beat Tennessee 35-28. After the game, Kiffin defends his roster makeup. “If the NCAA doesn’t have any disciplinary power, why would we follow any rules?” ESPN College GameDay hosts carry Kiffin off the field after the game, as 56,000 yellow golf balls are thrown at him.
Tennessee finishes the season with a 23-14 win over Vanderbilt. For the second straight year, the Vols are 8-4 and accept a Music City Bowl invite.
