Depression

By Joe Rector

In the U.S., approximately 21 million individuals have experienced depression at least once. To no one’s surprise, young adults are the most susceptible to depression. That means that a large chunk of our population has lived through at least one major depressive episode. Experts agree that the number of individuals who have suffered or still suffer from depression is most likely higher.

Too often, people who are stricken with depression hide the fact. They are embarrassed for a variety of reasons. Society has tagged depressed persons as weak. “They just need to get up and go on, in spite of their feelings,” some say. Suddenly, a person who feels terrible is ashamed that he or she isn’t strong enough to handle life’s difficulties. If a person admits to his depression, he’s labeled as a “sicky” or a “crazy.” Such cruel comments steer persons even deeper into a pit in which they find themselves.

In today’s world, many people are depressed over the financial conditions they find themselves. Younger adults are saddled with student loans; they realize that the dream of owning a home is just that. Prices for places to live are astronomical; the thought of paying a thousand dollars in rent overwhelms many people. Even the costs of groceries are so out of line that individuals must make hard choices about what to buy for food. The gloomy outlook leaves so many swirling the bowl on the way to depression.

Loss of loved ones can crush the toughest people. The emptiness in a life without the person who has died is something all of us dread but are likely to face. Parents, brothers, sisters, spouses and children are among those whom people fear losing. A faith in a presence ‘greater than we’ can soothe the sting of death, but the absence of a loved one during special times or even when watching a shared favorite movie sets a match to the burning pain of depression.

I freely admit to having suffered from depression. Think of me what you will. I’m a worrier, and when I don’t have something about which to worry, well, that worries me. The most I ever made during my years as a teacher was under $50,000. If not for Amy and her work, we’d have struggled to provide for our children. My parents and my older brother have passed. My twin brother and I are creeping toward the final years of our lives, and we fret over each other’s health. The thoughts of all these things depress me sometimes. I avoid thoughts of such a situation as much as possible.

The loss of a child brings a hurt beyond all explanation. Amy and I lost our son last year, and the recovery from that is ongoing. Some days are so fraught with depression that I would rather just cover my head with a blanket and stay in bed. I do know that action is a cautionary signal of depression, and I won’t give in to it. The loss and the memories and the things left unsaid and undone eat at my heart. I’m not alone in my depression. A whopping 15% of people who are age 70 have lost a child. That equals more than 18 million Americans. More than likely, those parents are filled with similar grief and depression.

So, the odds of being depressed seem to be high for many people. The action to take when it comes knocking is to find the right person with whom to talk. A spouse might be the right one for some, as it is in my case. A trusted friend can also become a confidant for others. In some cases, a psychologist is the answer to handling depression. I would caution folks about choosing a minister as a helper. Those who serve congregations can aid us in our spiritual journey. However, unless a minister is a psychologist, he or she is best suited for the spiritual difficulties. In too many cases, well-meaning pastors have injected religion into dealings with depression, and the outcomes can be negative for both areas.

Are you one of 21 million who has suffered depression? If not, you might find yourself its victim tomorrow. Should you be stricken with depression, remember that you are not alone. Take the steps necessary to ease the pain that it brings. Most of all, don’t be ashamed of your feelings. Only one perfect human ever walked the face of this earth, and he was killed by others.