My Golf Game Is Unbelievable (Part One)
By John J. Duncan Jr.
When I come in from playing golf and someone asks me how I did, I usually just say, “Unbelievable.” That can mean either good or bad, and most of the time it is not good.
One of my sons asked me a few weeks ago if, since I am playing a little more golf now, my game had gotten any better. I said, “Not one bit.”
But I keep trying. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. I like to think it is because of what Paul Owen, the golf pro at Holston Hills, told me during my one and only golf lesson when I was just nine years old. (The people whom I have played with over the years will not be surprised to learn that I have had only one golf lesson over all these many years.)
Paul Owen told me, and I assume other kids, whether you play nine holes or all 18, play them all, no matter how many strokes it takes – don’t be a quitter.
He did tell young people that we were not to delay anyone and always let adults play through. He was a nice man, and I have never forgotten him.
As I was growing up, I liked other sports better than golf, and I wanted to make good grades, so I tried to study and concentrate on my school work.
I did not play much golf when I was a student at U.T., and probably only played two or three times a year at public courses in Virginia when I was in law school at George Washington University.
Then for years I put in long hours as a lawyer and judge, and my Dad wanted me to go with him most weekends – plus, I had small children.
I played golf only seven or eight times a year (or less) until the mid-1990s. I kept seeing Bill Clinton playing golf, and I told my late wife, “Gosh, the president is playing more golf than I am, and I’m not one-one thousandth as important as he is.
So, in the early or mid-90s, I asked three longtime friends, Alan Carmichael, Bill Vaughan and Larry Cox, if they would play with me on Sunday afternoons after church. Sunday was usually my slowest day.
I still spoke at many Eagle Scout ceremonies on Sundays, and sometimes there would be other events come up, or I would be out of town, or the weather would be bad, etc. But I went from playing 7 or 8 times a year to playing 20 to 25 times a year.
Before then, I would get to the end of the year and always think I should drop my membership at Holston Hills because I was just not playing enough to justify the cost.
But you can rationalize almost anything you want – and I don’t smoke or drink, and I keep cars and clothes far longer than I should, so I always told myself that my golf was the only lavish thing I did.
Now I have been a member of Holston Hills Country Club longer than any other member, counting from when I was a small boy. I am glad (and thankful) that I am still there, and I try to play twice a week or occasionally more.
When playing with Bill Vaughan, every time we played, he would always turn to us at one of the tee boxes and say, “You all like golf?… watch this!” as if he was going to blast some great shot. Usually, he would hit one of his worst shots of the day.
At some point, Larry would always pretend like he was a golf announcer and say, “Now on the tee, Bill Vaughan, star tackle of the 1942 Jellico Blue Devils.” Bill was born in Jellico in 1942, and he had such skinny legs that he would never wear shorts. Bill’s nickname when he was a lobbyist in Nashville was “Spider,” so he was never a tackle.
Bill and Larry have both now passed away, and Alan and Dr. Doug Leahy, another playing friend, have given up their golf memberships.
Now I play most often with Dr. Larry Huskey, Steve Cox, Dr. Breese Johnson and Dr. Eric Nicely, and occasionally with Sam Anderson and Dr. James Foster.
I read years ago that over 90% of golfers hit 90 or above on 18 holes if they keep a totally honest score, with no gimmies or mulligans, and abide by strict PGA rules. I have read that both Donald Trump and Bill Clinton were a little flexible on the rules.
But golf has to be the most seductive game. The average golfer may hit 75 bad or mediocre shots in an 18-hole round, but that same golfer will hit about 15 amazing, beautiful shots. It is those 15 that bring him back.
Me? I call a bogey a Duncan par.
